To give birth to a wildly beautiful world.......
Join the WildeTribe 2012
xoxo
Friday, March 23, 2012
Saturday, March 10, 2012
What Are We Thinking Anyway?
(Make sure that you have had your coffee for this post as it will require some focus :)
Perception is one of those things that creeps up and takes hold of you before you have the chance to take a breath and think about what is happening. If you are not mindful of what is occurring, your interpretation can either create much greatness or inflict much pain. This occurs equally to the person providing the perception as to you, the person receiving it, and then creates your perception based on what you thought was given. "Oy", how complicated is that? Let me make it a little easier; finding out what the truth is, rather than sitting in what you think it might be, will give you the choice you need to live in the peace of reality, whether pleasant or not. It kind of makes me wonder, "What are we all thinking anyway?"
Perceptions come from a variety of people and places, but mostly they are derived from the behaviours of others and then created with what we 'think' they mean within our swirling, ever so, critical minds. They can come from the obvious ‘crazy makers’. They are the ones who behave in a way that is clear and direct and usually negative. There is no ambiguity; it is there, right in front of you, and you are positive what their message is, and it isn't pretty; they cause you grief. Although, you carry compassion for those who inflict pain, you love yourself too much to allow them in your life at the expense of your happiness.......right?? (just making sure you've been listening :) This needs to be a no-brainer, a deal-breaker for you as you have decided to not compromise your own happiness for others if it can be avoided.
The dilemma presents itself when you have people who are ‘crazy makers’ in your life in a less direct way. They are the dangerous ones as they play havoc on your psyche. They are ambiguous and practice passive aggressive means to get their message across. Their verbal and non-verbal language is scattered and inconsistent, and often not in line with each another. You become confused with pleasantries and polite acts mixed in with insults and rude attacks. Which is real? Which is authentic? Do they like me or not? You begin to question yourself as your inner critic tells you that you must have done or said something to instigate such abuse. Maybe you have, maybe you haven't.
Often these ‘crazy makers’ have developed a perception about you that isn't accurate. For some reason, they have come to the conclusion that you represent something you are not. Perhaps they chose to listen to a friend’s damaging gossip about you. Perhaps they are jealous of who you really are, and need to perceive you in another way in order to compensate for this (there is sadness in that). Maybe they just didn’t take the time and effort to verify exactly who you are when they were unsure about something you said or did. It really doesn’t matter why they developed their misplaced perception of you; it exists, and what matters is how you perceive their perception, and then either react or walk away.
There it is again, the almighty "choice". It's yours for the taking. This is where you can use some logic in your determination of whether or not you have played a part in the perception that is coming at you with such force that you can barely think. Take a big breath. Take the time to think; no one said you had to say or do anything right now. Am I a bad person? Did I do something wrong? Did I say something that could have been perceived in another way; maybe I wasn’t clear? Using reason will help you figure out how to proceed. Remember that just because someone is acting a certain way or saying certain things about you, doesn’t mean they are true; only you know if they are or not. This is your first step toward blocking your inner critic and having clarity when assessing the attacker and the part that you may or may not have played in the development of the perception. Having an open mind about what you might have done to feed such perceptions is the second step as you allow yourself to be vulnerable and open to a slight regression.......maybe the ‘crazy maker’ in you (we all own a little bit of that) came out to play for a while, and the perception is valid.
This brings you to the third and final step requiring honesty and truth. a) You may determine that the perception is all theirs. If this person is someone you want to keep within your community of support, you will need to put your ego aside, have a conversation with them, and gently clarify what is real. However, if this person does not fit into your lovingkindness circle, take the high road, move past their perceptions, do not respond, create boundaries, and place your energies with those who know who you are and reciprocate your love. b) You may determine that you played a bit of a part in the perception they have of you (I know, it's difficult to admit). If this is the case, you know what you need to do; same deal, be honest with those who love and support you, and let them know that you had a little u-turn. Your vulnerablility will make you stronger, and your honesty will create relationships with longevity. When it comes to those who don't care about you, simply forgive yourself and move on.
When perceptions jump up in front of you, take the time to think about what they are, where they came from and what role you may or may not have had in their creation. From there comes clarity, reason and reality, as well as, a much more loving approach to what we decide to do next. xoxoxo
Perception is one of those things that creeps up and takes hold of you before you have the chance to take a breath and think about what is happening. If you are not mindful of what is occurring, your interpretation can either create much greatness or inflict much pain. This occurs equally to the person providing the perception as to you, the person receiving it, and then creates your perception based on what you thought was given. "Oy", how complicated is that? Let me make it a little easier; finding out what the truth is, rather than sitting in what you think it might be, will give you the choice you need to live in the peace of reality, whether pleasant or not. It kind of makes me wonder, "What are we all thinking anyway?"
Perceptions come from a variety of people and places, but mostly they are derived from the behaviours of others and then created with what we 'think' they mean within our swirling, ever so, critical minds. They can come from the obvious ‘crazy makers’. They are the ones who behave in a way that is clear and direct and usually negative. There is no ambiguity; it is there, right in front of you, and you are positive what their message is, and it isn't pretty; they cause you grief. Although, you carry compassion for those who inflict pain, you love yourself too much to allow them in your life at the expense of your happiness.......right?? (just making sure you've been listening :) This needs to be a no-brainer, a deal-breaker for you as you have decided to not compromise your own happiness for others if it can be avoided.
The dilemma presents itself when you have people who are ‘crazy makers’ in your life in a less direct way. They are the dangerous ones as they play havoc on your psyche. They are ambiguous and practice passive aggressive means to get their message across. Their verbal and non-verbal language is scattered and inconsistent, and often not in line with each another. You become confused with pleasantries and polite acts mixed in with insults and rude attacks. Which is real? Which is authentic? Do they like me or not? You begin to question yourself as your inner critic tells you that you must have done or said something to instigate such abuse. Maybe you have, maybe you haven't.
Often these ‘crazy makers’ have developed a perception about you that isn't accurate. For some reason, they have come to the conclusion that you represent something you are not. Perhaps they chose to listen to a friend’s damaging gossip about you. Perhaps they are jealous of who you really are, and need to perceive you in another way in order to compensate for this (there is sadness in that). Maybe they just didn’t take the time and effort to verify exactly who you are when they were unsure about something you said or did. It really doesn’t matter why they developed their misplaced perception of you; it exists, and what matters is how you perceive their perception, and then either react or walk away.
There it is again, the almighty "choice". It's yours for the taking. This is where you can use some logic in your determination of whether or not you have played a part in the perception that is coming at you with such force that you can barely think. Take a big breath. Take the time to think; no one said you had to say or do anything right now. Am I a bad person? Did I do something wrong? Did I say something that could have been perceived in another way; maybe I wasn’t clear? Using reason will help you figure out how to proceed. Remember that just because someone is acting a certain way or saying certain things about you, doesn’t mean they are true; only you know if they are or not. This is your first step toward blocking your inner critic and having clarity when assessing the attacker and the part that you may or may not have played in the development of the perception. Having an open mind about what you might have done to feed such perceptions is the second step as you allow yourself to be vulnerable and open to a slight regression.......maybe the ‘crazy maker’ in you (we all own a little bit of that) came out to play for a while, and the perception is valid.
This brings you to the third and final step requiring honesty and truth. a) You may determine that the perception is all theirs. If this person is someone you want to keep within your community of support, you will need to put your ego aside, have a conversation with them, and gently clarify what is real. However, if this person does not fit into your lovingkindness circle, take the high road, move past their perceptions, do not respond, create boundaries, and place your energies with those who know who you are and reciprocate your love. b) You may determine that you played a bit of a part in the perception they have of you (I know, it's difficult to admit). If this is the case, you know what you need to do; same deal, be honest with those who love and support you, and let them know that you had a little u-turn. Your vulnerablility will make you stronger, and your honesty will create relationships with longevity. When it comes to those who don't care about you, simply forgive yourself and move on.
When perceptions jump up in front of you, take the time to think about what they are, where they came from and what role you may or may not have had in their creation. From there comes clarity, reason and reality, as well as, a much more loving approach to what we decide to do next. xoxoxo
Sunday, March 4, 2012
I Am Red
I feel good around the colour red, the deep, rich red of warmth that comes from the dresses of flamingo dancers and the native art that makes me stop to look. This shade of red fills me with energy and creativity, and it brings me genuine joy. I don't need to wear it or touch it; just looking at it serves up some wondrous love. It is the love that we provide to others and stems from the love we nurture in ourselves.
The colour red is related to the base chakra and self awareness; the awareness of ourselves as human beings and our spiritual place on earth. Red gives us courage and strength, and it relates to stability and security. In times of vulnerability I sub-consciously yearn for the presence of red and all that it gives to me. When I so choose to wear it, I feel empowered because it brings out the confidence that comes from caring for myself and all that I and all of us deserve. When I need a reminder, I wrap myself up in its fabric and breath in its warmth and power. I then become what the colour red provides me; great strength.
The colour red is related to the base chakra and self awareness; the awareness of ourselves as human beings and our spiritual place on earth. Red gives us courage and strength, and it relates to stability and security. In times of vulnerability I sub-consciously yearn for the presence of red and all that it gives to me. When I so choose to wear it, I feel empowered because it brings out the confidence that comes from caring for myself and all that I and all of us deserve. When I need a reminder, I wrap myself up in its fabric and breath in its warmth and power. I then become what the colour red provides me; great strength.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Friday, March 2, 2012
"The Way To Finding Happiness is by Building Walls of LovingKindness"
Excerpt from this Saturday's (March 3rd) 'Talk of Life' column in the Kingston Whig Standard........
I read somewhere that we cannot expect happiness. As I type this, my stomach does the same kind of flip it did when I initially read it. I struggle to get my head around the message the writer is sending as being able to achieve a sense of joy every day is my top priority. The idea that one cannot expect to obtain happiness within a lifetime is horrifying to me. The statement was so off putting that I reminded myself I had the choice to believe it or not, and I found solace in the words of the, ever so, wise Buddha;
“Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who has said it, not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense”.
Knowing that I do not have to believe everything I read or hear brought me some comfort, but I still felt saddened for the writer’s readers should they be swayed by his sentiment and for him as he seemed to believe that he was unworthy of happiness. The fact that someone had such a low standard of receiving joy didn’t resonate well with me, and it made me wonder if I was interpreting his message correctly.............
I read somewhere that we cannot expect happiness. As I type this, my stomach does the same kind of flip it did when I initially read it. I struggle to get my head around the message the writer is sending as being able to achieve a sense of joy every day is my top priority. The idea that one cannot expect to obtain happiness within a lifetime is horrifying to me. The statement was so off putting that I reminded myself I had the choice to believe it or not, and I found solace in the words of the, ever so, wise Buddha;
“Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who has said it, not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense”.
Knowing that I do not have to believe everything I read or hear brought me some comfort, but I still felt saddened for the writer’s readers should they be swayed by his sentiment and for him as he seemed to believe that he was unworthy of happiness. The fact that someone had such a low standard of receiving joy didn’t resonate well with me, and it made me wonder if I was interpreting his message correctly.............
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Just Letting My Mind Wander.........
After a few days on holidays I am finally ino a bit of a groove. I am a creature of habit so, it always takes me a bit before I feel completely at ease in a new environment. This morning was the first time that I felt I was into a good flow as I walked around the beautiful driving range at the PGA Centre for Golf Learning & Performance in Port St. Lucie. After 15 minutes I was well past the training centre and within my thoughts as I absorbed the smell of grass and felt the sun beating down on me.
It is during times like these when minutes turn quickly into an hour, and I feel like I am connected with the universe in some special way. Difficult to describe, it is the same experience people feel when they have finally established their spiritual place in their world. It is what most of us seek for a very long time, but sometimes make it more complicated than it has to be. Often, it is right in front of us, and it is waiting for us to leap towards and take advantage of it.
For me, it is a long walk in the woods or a sit down with paper, pens, and stamps. For my daughter, it is a long run in solitude where she is able to think deeply and with abandon. For my son and my husband, it is that long walk along the golf course where nature and people meet with cameradie, peace and calm. For a close friend of mine, it happens within the sanctuary of her church where she can kneel, pray and find comfort in the presence of her God. For yet another, it occurs throughout her morning yoga and meditation practice. It is spirituality; the natural force that many of us fight in order to survive the busyness of the day and the chaos of our society as it is today. We worry about slowing down as it may break our pattern of getting things done. We have conditioned ourselves to keep the momentum going so that not a moment is lost. As a result, we miss the moments between our breath that allow our spirituality to emerge and connect us in a different way than we are used to.
Sometimes, we need to slow in order to get the things done that really matter. The moments that we miss are the ones that really count; they are the ones that connect us to ourselves and to each other. Think about the last time you let your mind wander to wherever it wanted to go........think about where it went and how it felt. Amazing, right?!?!
It is during times like these when minutes turn quickly into an hour, and I feel like I am connected with the universe in some special way. Difficult to describe, it is the same experience people feel when they have finally established their spiritual place in their world. It is what most of us seek for a very long time, but sometimes make it more complicated than it has to be. Often, it is right in front of us, and it is waiting for us to leap towards and take advantage of it.
For me, it is a long walk in the woods or a sit down with paper, pens, and stamps. For my daughter, it is a long run in solitude where she is able to think deeply and with abandon. For my son and my husband, it is that long walk along the golf course where nature and people meet with cameradie, peace and calm. For a close friend of mine, it happens within the sanctuary of her church where she can kneel, pray and find comfort in the presence of her God. For yet another, it occurs throughout her morning yoga and meditation practice. It is spirituality; the natural force that many of us fight in order to survive the busyness of the day and the chaos of our society as it is today. We worry about slowing down as it may break our pattern of getting things done. We have conditioned ourselves to keep the momentum going so that not a moment is lost. As a result, we miss the moments between our breath that allow our spirituality to emerge and connect us in a different way than we are used to.
Sometimes, we need to slow in order to get the things done that really matter. The moments that we miss are the ones that really count; they are the ones that connect us to ourselves and to each other. Think about the last time you let your mind wander to wherever it wanted to go........think about where it went and how it felt. Amazing, right?!?!
Monday, February 27, 2012
Customer Service in the Rainy South
Being here in Port St. Lucie, Florida for the last 4 days has been very eventful as we have had rain every day since we arrived. This has moved us directly into full shopping mode which my daughter and I have decided to welcome with great enthusiasm. The sun should be shining by tomorrow offering us 6 days of poolside relaxation and book reading time.
During our shopping spree we stopped at the Pulix grocery store and experienced customer service extroidinaire!! Where I come from, gone are the days when an extra clerk packs your bags and then pushes your cart to your car and unloads them into your trunk. When my husband offered her a tip, she stepped back and graciously thanked him while indicating that she was not allowed to accept his gratuity. I felt like I was moving through a dream where my standards of customer service were not only being met but, were being exceded by leaps and bounds. I had already been blown away by the cashier's smile and conversation as she asked how we were doing, and where we were from. She was courteous, energetic and even provided us with a cloth bag for our wine without charging us for it. When we walked out of the store she called out to "have a great day", and gave us a wave and a smile.
Although, I love Canada as my home, I have to say that the people of Florida have proven that customer service is alive and extremely well. xoxo
During our shopping spree we stopped at the Pulix grocery store and experienced customer service extroidinaire!! Where I come from, gone are the days when an extra clerk packs your bags and then pushes your cart to your car and unloads them into your trunk. When my husband offered her a tip, she stepped back and graciously thanked him while indicating that she was not allowed to accept his gratuity. I felt like I was moving through a dream where my standards of customer service were not only being met but, were being exceded by leaps and bounds. I had already been blown away by the cashier's smile and conversation as she asked how we were doing, and where we were from. She was courteous, energetic and even provided us with a cloth bag for our wine without charging us for it. When we walked out of the store she called out to "have a great day", and gave us a wave and a smile.
Although, I love Canada as my home, I have to say that the people of Florida have proven that customer service is alive and extremely well. xoxo
Sunday, February 19, 2012
I love you because.....
One of the young men, who work at the Starbucks where my daughter works and that I frequent, shared this photo of the gift his wife gave him for Valentines. It is the epitome of a well thought out gesture, and it is obvious that it took much time and energy. It required tapping into her creative mind and, by seeing the results, I am guessing she enjoyed every minute of the process.
This is what some are missing by flying around in cars stopping at shop after shop in search of the ‘perfect’ gift and card. We hope that we will find the one that will send the message that is the ‘right’ fit for our loved one. How ironic is it that it is as simple as saying or writing down what we want to say? Combined with a little ingenuity and your own personal touch, you end up expressing exactly what you want your honey to know......just how much you love them.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
'Faith and Peace Can Only Come From Love'
I sit here in the stillness of my house, with the sun shining through the large picture window. The view seems bare since the old poplar was removed after the small ice storm we had a few weeks ago. It was inevitable as we watched the weight of the frozen branches pull the tree down to the ground like the wire on a bow. It arched over the inuksuk as if protecting it from harm’s way.
The arborist asked me if I would disassemble the ‘stone structure’ before he began his work, and I told him “no, I trust it to maintain its strength through the process; it will not fall”. He looked at me like I had two heads, and started the chain saw. I watched from the window, and he looked up at me once before directing his partner to pull the rope that was attached to the trunk more to the left. I felt a shift as something about him changed. I'm not sure if he fully understood my connection with the inuksuk, but he suddenly sensed that maintaining the inuksuk’s existence was very important. He knew that I had faith in his ability to protect its space in my garden, and that I would value his efforts of preserving it.
It is that silent faith that is most effective within our lives and the people in it. Sometimes, we do not need words or conversation; just calm and universal trust that everything will be alright. From that comes what is meant to be. We give up the need for control and allow things to flow. It can seem good or bad, but in the end, it all works out and with that comes freedom. The tree moved behind the inuksuk in a slow steady swipe and gently landed on the ground. The woodsman immediately looked up at me with a large grin and gave me a thumbs up. I smiled back and mouthed "thank you". I knew the inuksuk would remain standing because it is where it is meant to be. If it had fallen, I would have been at peace with that too.
Happy Valentine’s lovelies xoxoxoxo
The arborist asked me if I would disassemble the ‘stone structure’ before he began his work, and I told him “no, I trust it to maintain its strength through the process; it will not fall”. He looked at me like I had two heads, and started the chain saw. I watched from the window, and he looked up at me once before directing his partner to pull the rope that was attached to the trunk more to the left. I felt a shift as something about him changed. I'm not sure if he fully understood my connection with the inuksuk, but he suddenly sensed that maintaining the inuksuk’s existence was very important. He knew that I had faith in his ability to protect its space in my garden, and that I would value his efforts of preserving it.
It is that silent faith that is most effective within our lives and the people in it. Sometimes, we do not need words or conversation; just calm and universal trust that everything will be alright. From that comes what is meant to be. We give up the need for control and allow things to flow. It can seem good or bad, but in the end, it all works out and with that comes freedom. The tree moved behind the inuksuk in a slow steady swipe and gently landed on the ground. The woodsman immediately looked up at me with a large grin and gave me a thumbs up. I smiled back and mouthed "thank you". I knew the inuksuk would remain standing because it is where it is meant to be. If it had fallen, I would have been at peace with that too.
On this Valentine’s Day, I wonder how much control we allow into our lives when we are seeking love and our perception of it. Maybe we just need to have a little faith in the natural progression of it and how it will play out. I love my inuksuk and the peace that it provides me, but I knew that its fate was in the hands of the arborist’s care and the trust that I had in him. And from that, my new mantra came to me; ‘ faith and peace can only come from love’.Happy Valentine’s lovelies xoxoxoxo
Saturday, February 4, 2012
The Test of Resilience
After visiting a medical clinic today, I sat in my car and smiled at what had just happened to me. I was just diagnosed with shingles on the exact day that my column Having Faith in Yourself will Provide You With Resilience. Does anyone else see the irony in that?!?! At first I was utterly shocked that the painful rash I was dealing with was something that I perceive as extremely horrifying. I went into full victim mode, and my mind was filled with the “how can this be happening to me?” and “I don’t deserve this”. I spent the next 20 minutes waiting for a prescription and wandering around the drug store in a daze. I couldn’t think straight and I was totalling focused on the burning sensation I was feeling where the rash had developed....right under my bra strap!! When I got to the car, I sat behind the wheel and gulped down the first dose of medication and took a deep breath.
I didn’t turn on the engine right away, and I looked around the parking lot. It was a Saturday morning, and there were alot of people walking around the mall. I wondered how many of them had been given bad news within the last 24 hours. I thought of all the different things they could have been told, and I quickly realized that the news I received would not have been the worst thing communicated to anyone today. Quick reality check; I have a choice on how I can view this and how I am going to manage this situation, and I can do it as a pessimist and be miserable, or I can move through it with optimism and grace. So, with that train of thought, I leave you with my most recent Whig Standard column, the ‘Talk of Life’..... xoxo
I didn’t turn on the engine right away, and I looked around the parking lot. It was a Saturday morning, and there were alot of people walking around the mall. I wondered how many of them had been given bad news within the last 24 hours. I thought of all the different things they could have been told, and I quickly realized that the news I received would not have been the worst thing communicated to anyone today. Quick reality check; I have a choice on how I can view this and how I am going to manage this situation, and I can do it as a pessimist and be miserable, or I can move through it with optimism and grace. So, with that train of thought, I leave you with my most recent Whig Standard column, the ‘Talk of Life’..... xoxo
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Charlie Chaplin Message
This video was made in the 1940’s and is even more prevalent today; it is time for a change. Prepare yourself….when you open it you will see Charlie Chaplin dressed as Hitler and speaking in the same tone as Hitler, but with a very different message. Think about the message that the image is sending, and remember that just because someone of power says something, doesn’t mean we have to agree with them. Chaplin is using the image of Hitler and his power to tell you a very different message………..very interesting.
Charlie Chaplin Message
Monday, January 30, 2012
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Sunday, January 22, 2012
"Lovingkindness"
As I wake up to this wonderfully sunny, crisp winter day, I think about what will come of it.... Any day for me can make a turn from what I intended at any moment during its course. I am diligent with the inputting of my day timer yet, flexible knowing that I will probably not stick to the ink it is written in. My OCD has had difficulty adjusting to my newfound view of change and simply accepting what comes my way. However, becoming aware of how much easier life has become by slowing down and breathing makes me a true agent of change.
It makes me think about the mantra of ‘lovingkindness’ by Jack Kornfield.....
“May I be filled with loving-kindness
May I be well
May I be peaceful and at ease
May I be happy”
When in mediation, I say these words over and over again, sometimes in quiet and sometimes out loud. I sit in my studio with candles and lights dimly lit. Repeating the verse soothes and calms me, but more importantly, I think about the message I am sending. This is a message not only sent to others but, also to myself. ‘Lovingkindness’ is one of my values, and it is ranked pretty high on my list of beliefs. Remembering that any value we hold is one that we also expect in return, I think about the responsibility I hold to provide myself with the same ‘lovingkindness’ that I bestow on others, and to deflect any ill intentions away from my being.
This is where it gets tricky as the people in our lives, our loved ones and those within our circles are not always the most loving or kind. We struggle with boundaries and where to draw the line. Maybe they aren’t aware of what they are saying or doing; we’re sure they don’t intend any harm. But then I remember that every moment in life comes with a choice, and the choice to be kind is always an option. No matter what state of mind we are in, we are still aware of what we are choosing to give and receive. It is being able to slow down, breathe and to think about what choice we will make, what line we will cross, and what line we will draw, that makes all the difference.
Most of us are quick to spread the love among the people we know, but are hesitant to ‘call’ someone on their lack thereof. We are actually quite courteous to those who harm us over and over again as we sit politely and allow them to quietly throw daggers our way; where did that value of ‘lovingkindness’ go and our expectation thereof? And so, I sit here on this day which my friend at www.zendollworkshop.com so eloquently describes as ‘Silent Sunday’ and reflect on the ‘lovingkindness’ meditation with its obvious message. It makes sense and it sounds beautiful. It really is as simple as making the choice to send and receive all that is loving and all that is kind, and believing that we are all deserving of what this provides.
It makes me think about the mantra of ‘lovingkindness’ by Jack Kornfield.....
“May I be filled with loving-kindness
May I be well
May I be peaceful and at ease
May I be happy”
When in mediation, I say these words over and over again, sometimes in quiet and sometimes out loud. I sit in my studio with candles and lights dimly lit. Repeating the verse soothes and calms me, but more importantly, I think about the message I am sending. This is a message not only sent to others but, also to myself. ‘Lovingkindness’ is one of my values, and it is ranked pretty high on my list of beliefs. Remembering that any value we hold is one that we also expect in return, I think about the responsibility I hold to provide myself with the same ‘lovingkindness’ that I bestow on others, and to deflect any ill intentions away from my being.
This is where it gets tricky as the people in our lives, our loved ones and those within our circles are not always the most loving or kind. We struggle with boundaries and where to draw the line. Maybe they aren’t aware of what they are saying or doing; we’re sure they don’t intend any harm. But then I remember that every moment in life comes with a choice, and the choice to be kind is always an option. No matter what state of mind we are in, we are still aware of what we are choosing to give and receive. It is being able to slow down, breathe and to think about what choice we will make, what line we will cross, and what line we will draw, that makes all the difference.
Most of us are quick to spread the love among the people we know, but are hesitant to ‘call’ someone on their lack thereof. We are actually quite courteous to those who harm us over and over again as we sit politely and allow them to quietly throw daggers our way; where did that value of ‘lovingkindness’ go and our expectation thereof? And so, I sit here on this day which my friend at www.zendollworkshop.com so eloquently describes as ‘Silent Sunday’ and reflect on the ‘lovingkindness’ meditation with its obvious message. It makes sense and it sounds beautiful. It really is as simple as making the choice to send and receive all that is loving and all that is kind, and believing that we are all deserving of what this provides.
Friday, January 20, 2012
'Bouncing Back' by Camille Noe Pagan
For those who have been asking me for a link to the above article, I finally found a way to upload it to my web site....so, click on the link to the 'Dare To Be Deserving, Authentic Living" business home page (on the left of this post), and you will find another link on the top of the page for this wonderfully written article. I am thrilled to be part of this informative publication as I know that it will help so many people. Having been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis 6 years ago, and doing everything in my power to live with it as positively as possible, I know that focusing on being relient, both physically and mentally, is one of the keys to living a quality life with a chronic disease. More and more the medical world is paying attention to the need for patients’ positive thinking and ‘being’ when it comes to recovering from and managing disease. Even if you are not living with a chronic disease, please know that being resilient can help you to cope with any type of adversity you encounter in your life.
much love,
diana xo
much love,
diana xo
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Dinner and The Artist's Date
One of the things I encourage the women in my groups to do every week is to schedule an "Artist's" date into their day timers. At first they balk at the word "Artist" but, I quickly remind them that being creative encompasses many things; even solving a problem can be a creative event. I try to include an artist's date into every day, and it usually includes something where I get my hands into ink or paint, or play with paper. However, yesterday I decided to incorporate my creativity into bringing a meal to the table.
I was wrestling with what to cook as it was my turn (each member of my family has a few days in which they are accountable for the night's supper), and I was totally uninspired. Having only 2 days a week to cook is fabulous, however, you really feel like you want to do a good job, especially when the others have done the same. I had an hour to get it together, and I was feeling a little anxiety as my mind was focused on the arrival of the women coming for their group meeting.
Luckily, I became mindful of my stress creeping up on me, and I slowed myself down. I needed to turn this crazy feeling into something more manageable and even positive. I decided that I would make this an artist's date. I turned the TV. off and threw on a cd; Tony Bennett, a classic. I grabbed the latest 'Best Health' magazine and started leafing through the recipe section, and found what I was looking for. The music wasn't loud enough; I cranked it up and started chopping, stirring and sautéing. I knew that I had hit my happy spot when I started to sing with Mr. Bennett and forgot the upcoming arrival of my ladies. I worked diligently and cleaned up after each prep. The results were beautiful scallops resting in a homemade bed of guacamole, accompanied by rice, kale chips, raw carrots and cilantro.
My creative yearning was satisfied along with my tummy, and my stress level had gone from about 6 to 0......ah, the magic of creativity. Thank you to Julia Cameron of ‘The Artist’s Way’ for introducing me to the splendid experience of the “Artist’s Date”.
I was wrestling with what to cook as it was my turn (each member of my family has a few days in which they are accountable for the night's supper), and I was totally uninspired. Having only 2 days a week to cook is fabulous, however, you really feel like you want to do a good job, especially when the others have done the same. I had an hour to get it together, and I was feeling a little anxiety as my mind was focused on the arrival of the women coming for their group meeting.
Luckily, I became mindful of my stress creeping up on me, and I slowed myself down. I needed to turn this crazy feeling into something more manageable and even positive. I decided that I would make this an artist's date. I turned the TV. off and threw on a cd; Tony Bennett, a classic. I grabbed the latest 'Best Health' magazine and started leafing through the recipe section, and found what I was looking for. The music wasn't loud enough; I cranked it up and started chopping, stirring and sautéing. I knew that I had hit my happy spot when I started to sing with Mr. Bennett and forgot the upcoming arrival of my ladies. I worked diligently and cleaned up after each prep. The results were beautiful scallops resting in a homemade bed of guacamole, accompanied by rice, kale chips, raw carrots and cilantro.
My creative yearning was satisfied along with my tummy, and my stress level had gone from about 6 to 0......ah, the magic of creativity. Thank you to Julia Cameron of ‘The Artist’s Way’ for introducing me to the splendid experience of the “Artist’s Date”.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Bounce Back!! How to be Resilient
Check out the February issue of the Arthritis Today magazine, page 66 on Resilience and how I took the positive route to managing disease and pain
Thursday, January 12, 2012
The Ice Queen Inside My Head
It is an icy day here in Kingston, Ontario. I woke before my alarm clock to the tapping of rain on my bedroom window. Knowing that freezing rain was in the forecast for the early morning, I tiptoed out to the front door to check what was going on beyond the cozyness of my home. The front step was coated with a shiny layer of transparency, and as I picked up the newspaper bag lying in front of me, it crackled when the ice broke off and fell to the ground. Winter had suddenly arrived, and with great gusto as can only happen here in Canada.
It is that little voice again, wanting me to conform, “If everyone else gets in their car, so should you”; “Why do you think you’re more important when everyone else is making the effort to be there for the students”. And then the strange feeling in my stomach as my husband tells me that I should not drive in this weather, but I contemplating getting in my car. I feel unreasonable, and yet, there is a pull inside of me that wants me to do what everyone else is doing.
It is then that I make the decision to wait until noon before calling work; maybe the ice will shift to snow, and that will be a much more manageable drive for me. Yes, I am procrastinating and justifying my being enveloped into the vortex of what I call my “dark side”; today she is the Ice Queen of Inner Critics, tomorrow she'll be someone else. Amazing, how we can twist our mind around doing what we know we shouldn’t, and ignore the part of our mind that knows what is right for us. I sit here looking out at the ice covered branches in my backyard, and hope that Mother Nature will shift so that I won’t need to be the only one with common sense today. I am hoping that others will throw their Inner Critic Queen out on the icy step, shut the door and sit in front of a nice fire with a great book today.
Drive safe, sweeties xoxo
Buses are not running, and my early morning fitness class was cancelled; good call! I hear cars moving slowly down the street and the scraping of a car. I think how crazy the man who lives across the street is for taking the risky drive to work. And yet, I am waiting for the radio announcement indicating that the college where I teach this afternoon will be closing. I am not making a phone call to let them know that I have decided not to risk my life by driving an hour (normally 20 minutes) in life threatening conditions but rather, I wait by the radio hoping that someone has the common sense to lock the college doors and tell everyone to stay home, safe and sound. It is that little voice again, wanting me to conform, “If everyone else gets in their car, so should you”; “Why do you think you’re more important when everyone else is making the effort to be there for the students”. And then the strange feeling in my stomach as my husband tells me that I should not drive in this weather, but I contemplating getting in my car. I feel unreasonable, and yet, there is a pull inside of me that wants me to do what everyone else is doing.
It is that incessant Inner Critic, forever chirping in my mind, making my back tight, my tummy icky and the hairs on my neck tingle. It diminishes my intuition and takes control of my senses, and I feel angry that I am letting it pull me over to its side. The man across the street has finished scraping and loads his small children, backpacks and all, into his van; he’s on his way to their daycare and then to work. I say a small prayer for them. There is the eerie sound of an ambulance and the kitchen lights flicker. This brings back memories of the treacherous ice storm over a decade ago; all messages from my intuition to stay put and inside today.It is then that I make the decision to wait until noon before calling work; maybe the ice will shift to snow, and that will be a much more manageable drive for me. Yes, I am procrastinating and justifying my being enveloped into the vortex of what I call my “dark side”; today she is the Ice Queen of Inner Critics, tomorrow she'll be someone else. Amazing, how we can twist our mind around doing what we know we shouldn’t, and ignore the part of our mind that knows what is right for us. I sit here looking out at the ice covered branches in my backyard, and hope that Mother Nature will shift so that I won’t need to be the only one with common sense today. I am hoping that others will throw their Inner Critic Queen out on the icy step, shut the door and sit in front of a nice fire with a great book today.
Drive safe, sweeties xoxo
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