Being Uncomfortable While Having All The Comforts of Home

I learned a lot about myself during a recent holiday which required me “roughing it”. You will chuckle to yourself when I tell you that “roughing it” for me included a cottage with beds, a kitchen, a bathroom, 2 refrigerators (one for food and one for drinks), a screened in porch, air conditioning and even satellite T.V. Laughing yet? Read on and you will  understand......

We arrived at the cottage on Gull Lake near Sharbot Lake after a 1.5 hour drive with 2 cars loaded up with our necessities. We brought clothes, food, water noodles, fishing rods, books, and a box of movies in case of a rainy day. The children would only be with us for the first week so I packed my computer for the second week just in case I was inspired to write, or to take advantage of working a bit with no interruptions. I even brought a box filled with art supplies as I envisioned myself sitting in the screened in porch leisurely making cards while looking out over the lake. I packed my yoga mat intending to re-start my practice amidst the serenity of nature, and I brought my running shoes for daily hiking excursions.

Having rented a cottage for six years when the kids were little, I knew what to expect. The first week was filled with fishing, swimming, walking, reading, canoeing, camp fires and evening card games. The family was together and we were busy filling every minute of the day. I took endless photos to save all the memories of this wonderful week together. I didn’t miss my home, my work, or anything that goes along with all that. While reading one of the three books I finished during that first week, I looked around the room to see all four of us immersed in our stories. All was well.

On Thursday of that week my son needed to leave for a golf tournament. My daughter’s boyfriend came to visit on the Friday and Saturday, and on Sunday my daughter went back home to work the following week. My husband and I were now alone for the second week. We had been looking forward to spending the next seven days by ourselves savouring the peace and quiet. No more driving back and forth into town. No more taking the kids out in the boat. No more large meal planning. We could do or not do whatever we wanted. And what seemed like a dream come true quickly became an unexpected disappointment.

We woke up the first morning, had breakfast together and then walked the dog. When we arrived back at the cottage, I could feel a sense of uneasiness in my husband. I tried to read him but I didn’t understand because he loved being at the cottage. Suddenly, I felt sad and I couldn't decide what to do. I had no desire to pull out my computer or my art work. I looked at the books on the table and thought I should start to read one but, I had no interest. I saw my camera hanging from the kitchen chair, and I let out a heavy sigh while leaving it right where it was. It was quiet but, there was unrest. I felt uncomfortable and I didn’t like it. I felt frustrated with how I felt.  Were we not capable of being alone together at a beautiful cottage enjoying ourselves? Apparently not!!

We went down to sit by the lake and after about an hour my husband surprised me by turning to me and asking if I would like to go home. Secretly, I was thrilled but, I didn’t want to show my enthusiasm too much. He had planned this holiday and I was worried that he was just offering to go home because he could feel that I didn’t want to be there anymore. I looked at him and asked if he wanted to go home. He said he did. He said that it wasn’t the same without the kids and we could do the same things and even more of what we wanted to do if we were at home. YES!!!!! I was thrilled. We decided to pack up the next morning and head for Kingston.

Many would find this crazy. Many would say we must not be happy together. Many would think that if you paid for a cottage, you should stay there and enjoy it. But, we were not enjoying it. We missed the hustle and bustle of the children. The dog wouldn’t settle in to his new environment and wasn’t eating. The mattresses were soft and neither one of us were sleeping well. We were physically and emotionally uncomfortable. Not our idea of a vacation. And so, we packed our things, cleaned up after ourselves and drove home. When we arrived at our house Jake went straight to his dog dish and ate a full bowl of food. After going to the back yard, he returned and went to his comfy chair and sank into a deep sleep. Hank assumed his position in his chair and got caught up on his newspaper reading, and I filled the rest of my day with all the things I like doing. I wrote on my computer and downloaded the cottage photos while sitting at my little desk in the corner of our office. I took a shower in our nice big tub. I went downstairs and practiced yoga. Then, I sat at my art table and made a card to thank the people who rented us the cottage for such a pleasant stay.

I did all the things that I was physically able to do at the cottage. The difference was that I was more comfortable here. It wasn’t about having all the comforts of home at the cottage; it was about being uncomfortable at the cottage because we weren’t at home. That is “roughing it” for my husband and me; being somewhere and feeling uncomfortable even though you have everything you think you need.