To give birth to a wildly beautiful world.......
Join the WildeTribe 2012
xoxo
Friday, March 23, 2012
Saturday, March 10, 2012
What Are We Thinking Anyway?
(Make sure that you have had your coffee for this post as it will require some focus :)
Perception is one of those things that creeps up and takes hold of you before you have the chance to take a breath and think about what is happening. If you are not mindful of what is occurring, your interpretation can either create much greatness or inflict much pain. This occurs equally to the person providing the perception as to you, the person receiving it, and then creates your perception based on what you thought was given. "Oy", how complicated is that? Let me make it a little easier; finding out what the truth is, rather than sitting in what you think it might be, will give you the choice you need to live in the peace of reality, whether pleasant or not. It kind of makes me wonder, "What are we all thinking anyway?"
Perceptions come from a variety of people and places, but mostly they are derived from the behaviours of others and then created with what we 'think' they mean within our swirling, ever so, critical minds. They can come from the obvious ‘crazy makers’. They are the ones who behave in a way that is clear and direct and usually negative. There is no ambiguity; it is there, right in front of you, and you are positive what their message is, and it isn't pretty; they cause you grief. Although, you carry compassion for those who inflict pain, you love yourself too much to allow them in your life at the expense of your happiness.......right?? (just making sure you've been listening :) This needs to be a no-brainer, a deal-breaker for you as you have decided to not compromise your own happiness for others if it can be avoided.
The dilemma presents itself when you have people who are ‘crazy makers’ in your life in a less direct way. They are the dangerous ones as they play havoc on your psyche. They are ambiguous and practice passive aggressive means to get their message across. Their verbal and non-verbal language is scattered and inconsistent, and often not in line with each another. You become confused with pleasantries and polite acts mixed in with insults and rude attacks. Which is real? Which is authentic? Do they like me or not? You begin to question yourself as your inner critic tells you that you must have done or said something to instigate such abuse. Maybe you have, maybe you haven't.
Often these ‘crazy makers’ have developed a perception about you that isn't accurate. For some reason, they have come to the conclusion that you represent something you are not. Perhaps they chose to listen to a friend’s damaging gossip about you. Perhaps they are jealous of who you really are, and need to perceive you in another way in order to compensate for this (there is sadness in that). Maybe they just didn’t take the time and effort to verify exactly who you are when they were unsure about something you said or did. It really doesn’t matter why they developed their misplaced perception of you; it exists, and what matters is how you perceive their perception, and then either react or walk away.
There it is again, the almighty "choice". It's yours for the taking. This is where you can use some logic in your determination of whether or not you have played a part in the perception that is coming at you with such force that you can barely think. Take a big breath. Take the time to think; no one said you had to say or do anything right now. Am I a bad person? Did I do something wrong? Did I say something that could have been perceived in another way; maybe I wasn’t clear? Using reason will help you figure out how to proceed. Remember that just because someone is acting a certain way or saying certain things about you, doesn’t mean they are true; only you know if they are or not. This is your first step toward blocking your inner critic and having clarity when assessing the attacker and the part that you may or may not have played in the development of the perception. Having an open mind about what you might have done to feed such perceptions is the second step as you allow yourself to be vulnerable and open to a slight regression.......maybe the ‘crazy maker’ in you (we all own a little bit of that) came out to play for a while, and the perception is valid.
This brings you to the third and final step requiring honesty and truth. a) You may determine that the perception is all theirs. If this person is someone you want to keep within your community of support, you will need to put your ego aside, have a conversation with them, and gently clarify what is real. However, if this person does not fit into your lovingkindness circle, take the high road, move past their perceptions, do not respond, create boundaries, and place your energies with those who know who you are and reciprocate your love. b) You may determine that you played a bit of a part in the perception they have of you (I know, it's difficult to admit). If this is the case, you know what you need to do; same deal, be honest with those who love and support you, and let them know that you had a little u-turn. Your vulnerablility will make you stronger, and your honesty will create relationships with longevity. When it comes to those who don't care about you, simply forgive yourself and move on.
When perceptions jump up in front of you, take the time to think about what they are, where they came from and what role you may or may not have had in their creation. From there comes clarity, reason and reality, as well as, a much more loving approach to what we decide to do next. xoxoxo
Perception is one of those things that creeps up and takes hold of you before you have the chance to take a breath and think about what is happening. If you are not mindful of what is occurring, your interpretation can either create much greatness or inflict much pain. This occurs equally to the person providing the perception as to you, the person receiving it, and then creates your perception based on what you thought was given. "Oy", how complicated is that? Let me make it a little easier; finding out what the truth is, rather than sitting in what you think it might be, will give you the choice you need to live in the peace of reality, whether pleasant or not. It kind of makes me wonder, "What are we all thinking anyway?"
Perceptions come from a variety of people and places, but mostly they are derived from the behaviours of others and then created with what we 'think' they mean within our swirling, ever so, critical minds. They can come from the obvious ‘crazy makers’. They are the ones who behave in a way that is clear and direct and usually negative. There is no ambiguity; it is there, right in front of you, and you are positive what their message is, and it isn't pretty; they cause you grief. Although, you carry compassion for those who inflict pain, you love yourself too much to allow them in your life at the expense of your happiness.......right?? (just making sure you've been listening :) This needs to be a no-brainer, a deal-breaker for you as you have decided to not compromise your own happiness for others if it can be avoided.
The dilemma presents itself when you have people who are ‘crazy makers’ in your life in a less direct way. They are the dangerous ones as they play havoc on your psyche. They are ambiguous and practice passive aggressive means to get their message across. Their verbal and non-verbal language is scattered and inconsistent, and often not in line with each another. You become confused with pleasantries and polite acts mixed in with insults and rude attacks. Which is real? Which is authentic? Do they like me or not? You begin to question yourself as your inner critic tells you that you must have done or said something to instigate such abuse. Maybe you have, maybe you haven't.
Often these ‘crazy makers’ have developed a perception about you that isn't accurate. For some reason, they have come to the conclusion that you represent something you are not. Perhaps they chose to listen to a friend’s damaging gossip about you. Perhaps they are jealous of who you really are, and need to perceive you in another way in order to compensate for this (there is sadness in that). Maybe they just didn’t take the time and effort to verify exactly who you are when they were unsure about something you said or did. It really doesn’t matter why they developed their misplaced perception of you; it exists, and what matters is how you perceive their perception, and then either react or walk away.
There it is again, the almighty "choice". It's yours for the taking. This is where you can use some logic in your determination of whether or not you have played a part in the perception that is coming at you with such force that you can barely think. Take a big breath. Take the time to think; no one said you had to say or do anything right now. Am I a bad person? Did I do something wrong? Did I say something that could have been perceived in another way; maybe I wasn’t clear? Using reason will help you figure out how to proceed. Remember that just because someone is acting a certain way or saying certain things about you, doesn’t mean they are true; only you know if they are or not. This is your first step toward blocking your inner critic and having clarity when assessing the attacker and the part that you may or may not have played in the development of the perception. Having an open mind about what you might have done to feed such perceptions is the second step as you allow yourself to be vulnerable and open to a slight regression.......maybe the ‘crazy maker’ in you (we all own a little bit of that) came out to play for a while, and the perception is valid.
This brings you to the third and final step requiring honesty and truth. a) You may determine that the perception is all theirs. If this person is someone you want to keep within your community of support, you will need to put your ego aside, have a conversation with them, and gently clarify what is real. However, if this person does not fit into your lovingkindness circle, take the high road, move past their perceptions, do not respond, create boundaries, and place your energies with those who know who you are and reciprocate your love. b) You may determine that you played a bit of a part in the perception they have of you (I know, it's difficult to admit). If this is the case, you know what you need to do; same deal, be honest with those who love and support you, and let them know that you had a little u-turn. Your vulnerablility will make you stronger, and your honesty will create relationships with longevity. When it comes to those who don't care about you, simply forgive yourself and move on.
When perceptions jump up in front of you, take the time to think about what they are, where they came from and what role you may or may not have had in their creation. From there comes clarity, reason and reality, as well as, a much more loving approach to what we decide to do next. xoxoxo
Sunday, March 4, 2012
I Am Red
I feel good around the colour red, the deep, rich red of warmth that comes from the dresses of flamingo dancers and the native art that makes me stop to look. This shade of red fills me with energy and creativity, and it brings me genuine joy. I don't need to wear it or touch it; just looking at it serves up some wondrous love. It is the love that we provide to others and stems from the love we nurture in ourselves.
The colour red is related to the base chakra and self awareness; the awareness of ourselves as human beings and our spiritual place on earth. Red gives us courage and strength, and it relates to stability and security. In times of vulnerability I sub-consciously yearn for the presence of red and all that it gives to me. When I so choose to wear it, I feel empowered because it brings out the confidence that comes from caring for myself and all that I and all of us deserve. When I need a reminder, I wrap myself up in its fabric and breath in its warmth and power. I then become what the colour red provides me; great strength.
The colour red is related to the base chakra and self awareness; the awareness of ourselves as human beings and our spiritual place on earth. Red gives us courage and strength, and it relates to stability and security. In times of vulnerability I sub-consciously yearn for the presence of red and all that it gives to me. When I so choose to wear it, I feel empowered because it brings out the confidence that comes from caring for myself and all that I and all of us deserve. When I need a reminder, I wrap myself up in its fabric and breath in its warmth and power. I then become what the colour red provides me; great strength.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Friday, March 2, 2012
"The Way To Finding Happiness is by Building Walls of LovingKindness"
Excerpt from this Saturday's (March 3rd) 'Talk of Life' column in the Kingston Whig Standard........
I read somewhere that we cannot expect happiness. As I type this, my stomach does the same kind of flip it did when I initially read it. I struggle to get my head around the message the writer is sending as being able to achieve a sense of joy every day is my top priority. The idea that one cannot expect to obtain happiness within a lifetime is horrifying to me. The statement was so off putting that I reminded myself I had the choice to believe it or not, and I found solace in the words of the, ever so, wise Buddha;
“Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who has said it, not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense”.
Knowing that I do not have to believe everything I read or hear brought me some comfort, but I still felt saddened for the writer’s readers should they be swayed by his sentiment and for him as he seemed to believe that he was unworthy of happiness. The fact that someone had such a low standard of receiving joy didn’t resonate well with me, and it made me wonder if I was interpreting his message correctly.............
I read somewhere that we cannot expect happiness. As I type this, my stomach does the same kind of flip it did when I initially read it. I struggle to get my head around the message the writer is sending as being able to achieve a sense of joy every day is my top priority. The idea that one cannot expect to obtain happiness within a lifetime is horrifying to me. The statement was so off putting that I reminded myself I had the choice to believe it or not, and I found solace in the words of the, ever so, wise Buddha;
“Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who has said it, not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense”.
Knowing that I do not have to believe everything I read or hear brought me some comfort, but I still felt saddened for the writer’s readers should they be swayed by his sentiment and for him as he seemed to believe that he was unworthy of happiness. The fact that someone had such a low standard of receiving joy didn’t resonate well with me, and it made me wonder if I was interpreting his message correctly.............
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