"Busy, Busy, Busy"

We come from a culture of acute “busy-ness.” Everywhere I go, I hear the word “busy”. It is the response to “How are you?”...”I’m busy!” It is the excuse for not calling someone back or not ever calling at all ....”I’m busy!” It is what people say when they fail to follow through on something they promised they would do.....”I’m soooo busy!” Saying that you’re busy has become the norm, an accepted reason for not connecting with those we love.

Being busy has become a state of mind, an addictive drug that takes over from the moment you wake up until you lay back down on your pillow at night. Even in the dead of night, it calls to you as lists upon lists fly around in your head keeping you from falling asleep. Therapists encourage people to keep a pen and paper by their bedside so that they can write their lists down instead of having them endlessly swirl around in their mind. Great idea but, how “busy” have we become when we can’t shut it all down and lay in peace?

Some use the act of being busy as a form of fitting in to some kind of “busy” club. Hearing the term “I’m busy” seems to trigger the need to be busy and want to brag about it. “Everybody is busy so, I should be too.” Of course, this is all a matter of perception and, when we go to this side of the thought process, we are deep into the ego. And, the cycle begins. “I’m busy!”......ego arrives......”Oh, I know. I have been so busy too”.....ego grows....”Well, I have been working day and night; so busy”.....ego heightens.....”I hear you, the kids are in 5 activities, and my husband never helps out”.......ego intensifies......”Ours too!! Well, I need to get going, soooo busy!” Great camaraderie builds as keeping score of “busy-ness” is completed.

Then there are those who become offended by the term “I’m busy”. I am one of the offended. I try not to let it affect me but, I too, have an ego, and have trouble suppressing it from time to time. I interpret the phrase “I’m busy” as rude, somewhat demeaning and very sad. Rude, because the busy person is basically telling me that all their “busy-ness” is more important than spending time with me. Demeaning, because continuously telling me that you are “busy” seems to create a thought that you are somehow better than I am because you are so busy. Of course, this is my problem, my perception, my ego but, then there is the sadness....

I am sad that we are all so busy. The truth is that it is a choice that we all make, “To be or, not to be”....busy. I am selfish. I don’t want everyone I know to be that busy; so busy that they don’t have time to stop and have a coffee and chat; so busy that they don’t have time to send a Christmas card or bake one batch of sugar cookies; so busy that they can’t stop by for a holiday drink. I am an old soul who wants the good ole days back again. I want visions of sugar plums dancing in my head at night instead of long lists of what I need to do the next day, the next month and the next year. I want us all to move through each day with as much ease as possible. I want our lists to have a few fun things on them. And, when I ask someone how they are, I want them to tell me how absolutely amazing they are. But, I understand, we're all busy.....

Find more on "Recovery from Busy" in this Saturday's "Talk of Life" column in the Life Section

Sublime

As I sit at my little desk and glance out the window at the snow on the trees, I am filled with a sense of wonder that I haven’t been able to see the beauty in its arrival for many years. The want and the need to run away from it has been so prevalent that my pattern was to look at it with disgust and count the days until spring arrived. This has all changed as I shift into a completely different mindset that includes maintaining Kingston, Ontario as my home base and, perhaps spending some time down south during the colder season. For now, the plan is to nestle in to a smaller home here and focus on all of my creative endeavours.

Combining my leadership work with writing and art is the direction that I am drawn to. Lately, I have met and am inspired by so many exciting and authentic individuals who have been brave enough to jump into the world of mixing work and creative expression. They seem to do it with much ease and I feel that I am most comfortable in this space as well.  When I heard about Kaye-Lee Patony's (artist & psychotherapist) workshop, "Sublime; reclaining our innocent adolescent girl" I dove in head first.  We spent the day engaged in insightful exercises which included working from our heads and our hearts. 

This collage is an expression of “who” I am right now in this moment. I have created many vision boards that represent the direction I would like to take in the future, but never have I been asked to create a board that represents my present being, right now, as I am today. It was tough, mind provoking and it required hours of my time. I was unable to finish the collage at the workshop 2 weeks ago. I needed to take it home and walk by it several times a day before I could even sit in front of it again.

I took the task of communicating my current self through the use of images quite seriously. It was daunting and haunting me. I became annoyed a few times as I passed by and looked at what I had already glued down....stuck and unable to pull off of the board and replace with something more “positive”. I wasn’t sure what the significance of the woman running away from the little devils represented or why I thought that this resembled anything in particular about me.



Then yesterday I realized that the picture was extraordinarily accurate and extremely positive as I am determined to leave my inner critic behind me. The fact that this woman seems to be running with incredible speed to create as much distance between her and these gremlins is a true reflection of where I am right now, this very moment.

This exercise has been yet another tool provided to me in my pursuit of mindfulness. I see that just because I was focusing on the now, doesn’t mean that it can’t be part of my future. Staying awake to the signs, the gifts, opportunities and possibilities that present themselves is what it is all about. Grabbing on to them when they appear and absorbing what they are telling me will move me in the right direction, from today to tomorrow. Sometimes, there is no need to think about what is going to happen if I can live within what is happening when it occurs. Running away from the devils of the past has become an easier task as I am able to feel them when they approach and then respond. They are a part of my past, my present and they will always be with me but, I will keep them at a distance from now on.



Liebster Blog Award

I was extremely honoured to be nominated for the Liebster Blog award by  my lovely friend, Tracy Olan of Beautiful Day Photography.  Tracy is an authentic creative soul, and I so admire her determination to live her truth.  I had never heard of this award before
Tracy introduced it to me so,

 in the event that you haven't either,
here is how it works......

The Liebster Blog Award is given to up and coming bloggers who have less than 200 followers. The award is designed to recognize worthy, lesser known blogs and to help expose their work.

The rules for the Liebster Award are:

1. Thank the giver and link back to the blogger who gave it to you.

2. Reveal your top five picks {with less than 200 readers} and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.

3. Copy and paste the award on your blog.

4. Have faith that your followers will spread the love too!

Given my belief to always, always give back, following are my 5 nominations for the Liebster Blog award:

I follow these blogs daily!!  xoxo

1. Tracy Olan of "Beautiful Day To....."  Beautiful Day To.....
2. Jocelyn Hession of "Zendoll" Zendoll
3. Danielle Hession of "danny & dani" Danny & Dani
4. Ola of "Styles by Ola" Ola
5. Tammy Vigue of "Sit Still - Enlighten Up" Sit Still - Enlighten Up

The Beginning of Something Great

Last night brought an extraordinary experience my way. I have been working tirelessly to introduce a teen women’s mindfulness series to the city of Kingston. My intuition told me to offer this program to the various high schools as an extracurricular activity; much like the sports activities are implemented. I was optimistic that the schools would be as excited as I was about the offering of such a program to young women in our community. The cost was a mere $10 per student for 2 hours of self awareness and inner work; a gift of knowing oneself. In the attached proposal documents that I emailed to each principal I indicated that I had received, with gratitude, $600 of scholarship donations from local entrepreneurs, for students who could not afford this program. Much to my dismay, I was told by each principal that they did not have any time to dedicate to this endeavour. Some principals did not even reply to my email proposal; I am assuming that, they too, are busy.

I was not willing to give up, and as a result and with the encouragement of the participants of my women’s groups, I opted to run the program from my private business space. Last night was the first gathering of the participants of the Teen Authentic Leadership™ Certificate Program. The young women were hesitant at first but, within 10 minutes were chatting and sharing their feelings and thoughts without the worry of being judged or criticized. They were practicing Authenticity without even realizing it and all because they felt they were in a safe and trusting environment.

The Conversation™ was scheduled to run for 1.5 hours and we ran incredibly late as the participants did not want it to end. They were learning things about themselves that they were unaware of. The excitement of the awakening of possibility was obvious, and they told me that they did not want the night to end.

This is perhaps the most success that I have ever experienced. The vision that I had 2 years ago has come to fruition; women as young as 16 years of age realizing “who” they are and recognizing what brings them joy. How much better can this be? Each of these women has committed to participating in the full series of 10 Conversations™ beginning in January, and each of them is eager to spread the work. They are now part of the Authenticity Revolution inspired by Tana Heminsley of Authentic Leadership Global™. Bit by bit we are moving toward mindfulness and consciously practicing our true nature.

These young ladies are both remarkable and courageous. I applaud them for thinking of themselves and for knowing that there is something better out there. When I said “good night” to each of them and watched them walk out the door, I heard one of them announce, “That was amazing”. The others agreed and the hairs on the back of my head tingled; I couldn’t stop smiling for the rest of the evening. This is the beginning of much greatness. xoxo

Talk of Life

click on link below for....

 "A New Perspective On Leadership"

http://www.thewhig.com/ArticleDisplay.aspx?e=3359517

The Knowing

When you meet that certain someone, you can see it in his eyes,

There’s a stirring in your stomach and the prickle in your thighs.

You meet and hold, then move on past, but linger just a bit.

Then “the knowing” that he noticed that you may be a good fit.

There’s a place among the crowd, an empty chair beside his spot,

There’s a feeling of comfort, this is the place where you were brought.

His breath, his smile, his presence, it’s surprisingly so strong.

It’s “the knowing” that he wants the same, that this cannot be wrong.

A chat, a joke, an awkward laugh and a casual good bye,

Sitting there reflecting on what you felt; a longing and a sigh.

Then gone before I turn around, he leaves and throws a wave.

Then “the knowing” that I read it right, the look that he just gave.

The weeks of waiting brought a call, a meeting and a drive,

A belonging being side by side, a soul mate sense arrived.

It led along the water with much talk of things of trust,

“The knowing” that this was the start; the end was not discussed.

Many years of birthdays, raising children, work and all that fun,

I knew that we would be together; I knew he was the one.

Much has followed since a sunny day that hot July.

“The knowing” happened instantly, while there, just him and I.

I sometimes wonder who I’d be if that day had never come,

Would I have known this feeling that is passed on to only some?

Would I have known this joy, this bond and strong camaraderie?

Would “the knowing” still be there if he had walked right beyond me?

We celebrate his day, today; the day that he was born,

He asks for nothing in return; his course is walked and worn.

This man who likes all simple things; a walk upon the green,

“The knowing” of much kindness, love and nothing unforeseen.

Life is very simple; it’s our love, his girl and boy,

Their steps toward becoming whole, and finding love and joy.

The future as we move into this next chapter of our hearts,

“The knowing” that our love will hold us, and we’ll never be apart.

So, Happy Birthday Baby, you deserve all that comes your way,

We are so blessed to have each other to wake up to every day.

I love you to the moon and back; I’ve said it all before,

But “the knowing” that I’ll say it when you wake and sleep and even just once more.

~ Diana xoxo