"Busy, Busy, Busy"

We come from a culture of acute “busy-ness.” Everywhere I go, I hear the word “busy”. It is the response to “How are you?”...”I’m busy!” It is the excuse for not calling someone back or not ever calling at all ....”I’m busy!” It is what people say when they fail to follow through on something they promised they would do.....”I’m soooo busy!” Saying that you’re busy has become the norm, an accepted reason for not connecting with those we love.

Being busy has become a state of mind, an addictive drug that takes over from the moment you wake up until you lay back down on your pillow at night. Even in the dead of night, it calls to you as lists upon lists fly around in your head keeping you from falling asleep. Therapists encourage people to keep a pen and paper by their bedside so that they can write their lists down instead of having them endlessly swirl around in their mind. Great idea but, how “busy” have we become when we can’t shut it all down and lay in peace?

Some use the act of being busy as a form of fitting in to some kind of “busy” club. Hearing the term “I’m busy” seems to trigger the need to be busy and want to brag about it. “Everybody is busy so, I should be too.” Of course, this is all a matter of perception and, when we go to this side of the thought process, we are deep into the ego. And, the cycle begins. “I’m busy!”......ego arrives......”Oh, I know. I have been so busy too”.....ego grows....”Well, I have been working day and night; so busy”.....ego heightens.....”I hear you, the kids are in 5 activities, and my husband never helps out”.......ego intensifies......”Ours too!! Well, I need to get going, soooo busy!” Great camaraderie builds as keeping score of “busy-ness” is completed.

Then there are those who become offended by the term “I’m busy”. I am one of the offended. I try not to let it affect me but, I too, have an ego, and have trouble suppressing it from time to time. I interpret the phrase “I’m busy” as rude, somewhat demeaning and very sad. Rude, because the busy person is basically telling me that all their “busy-ness” is more important than spending time with me. Demeaning, because continuously telling me that you are “busy” seems to create a thought that you are somehow better than I am because you are so busy. Of course, this is my problem, my perception, my ego but, then there is the sadness....

I am sad that we are all so busy. The truth is that it is a choice that we all make, “To be or, not to be”....busy. I am selfish. I don’t want everyone I know to be that busy; so busy that they don’t have time to stop and have a coffee and chat; so busy that they don’t have time to send a Christmas card or bake one batch of sugar cookies; so busy that they can’t stop by for a holiday drink. I am an old soul who wants the good ole days back again. I want visions of sugar plums dancing in my head at night instead of long lists of what I need to do the next day, the next month and the next year. I want us all to move through each day with as much ease as possible. I want our lists to have a few fun things on them. And, when I ask someone how they are, I want them to tell me how absolutely amazing they are. But, I understand, we're all busy.....

Find more on "Recovery from Busy" in this Saturday's "Talk of Life" column in the Life Section