I have been struggling with the “shoulds” of my life for a very long time. I used to find them and, what came with them, extremely frustrating because they usually presented themselves during times in my life that, by our cultural standards, “should” have been joyful times. The days and weeks before a Birthday, Thanksgiving, or Christmas would be filled with anxiety and trepidation. I yearned for feelings of excitement but, blocked them out as I was bombarded with the heaviness of how others expected me to celebrate each event. Any time I became brave enough to voice how I or my family wanted to move through a holiday, I was challenged on how it “should” be done. I usually ended up feeling guilty, defensive or shameful for suggesting a different way, and then succumbing to someone else’s way to keep the peace.
I now understand where these feelings came from as my needs and wants were not respected. We are living in a time when each of us has a voice that needs to be heard and considered. Paired with compromise and compassion, all of our needs and wants can be met. Expectations can be mind benders when combined with our inner critic. We have an intuitive vision of how we would like something, an event or celebration, to transpire, and then thoughts of what others expect pop up, and we allow these thoughts to squash what we envisioned.
Our intuitive dreams are reflections of our creative, true selves, and we need to take responsibility for bringing them to fruition. If we listen to our inner critic, and only consider what others' want, we are abandoning ourselves. And the question then arises, “Am I not as deserving of my dreams as the other people in my life are?” That uncomfortable feeling that you have when you continually provide others with what they want, and continually sacrifice your own longings, is not sacrifice; it is Authentic betrayal.
You are deserving of creating your own traditions and relishing in celebrating all that comes with them. Create, experience and enjoy!!!!!
You and I are lucky to live in an era where having a voice - and using it - is the new paradigm - along with expressing one's creativity without worrying about judgement from others.
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed your post. Many people "should" all over themselves. My husband I took a challenge to eraticate the word from our vocabulary. It took work, however, we were successful.
ReplyDeleteI also want to add a point to your words about creativity. I believe it's our birthright. My blog post today is about how in 1 minute to Stop to Start and connect with individual creativeness. ~ Linda Joyce