Family Reunion, August 28, 2010

Yesterday was my family’s reunion held at my brother and sister-in-law’s beautiful home in Stirling, Ontario. It was held in a country setting, complete with a pig roast, live country band and a camp fire at the end of the day. Signs along the road directed us to the balloons on the mailbox. Classic ~ which was what I loved about it. Upon arrival, it was obvious that this family had spent hours, most likely days, tending to the flower beds and lawns to ensure an inviting, picturesque scene. The sun shone brightly, with a slight breeze. Shade was plentiful from the abundance of trees and a covered area on the deck. We walked in the direction of the music, around the house, past the roasting pig, to all of my relatives engaged in hugs, kisses, and endless chatter. This was as good as it gets.

Most of my family consists of my mother’s side of the family; they are of Dutch decent. There were 14 children in all; one died at a very early age as a child, and 3 passed later in life, all sadly missed. The women in this family are strong and vibrant. All are either in their 70’s or 80’s, and one just celebrated her 90th birthday; 6 have been widowed for several years. The youngest brother is 70.  They all married young and raised families. Half stayed in Holland while half immigrated to Canada.

When I was a child, my cousins were my friends. Some lived next door to me, others a block or two or cities away. Our parents ensured that we reunited often. Summers spent with my cousins were vacations to look forward to. Our parents strived for simple happiness and all that is good. Family was and still is their passion, and they know that they can turn to one another in good times and bad. Hard work is part of their genetic makeup, and they have passed this on to us, their children, as have we to ours. Kindness and love is the root of our heritage. Their extended families are a reflection of a “job well done”, and they have indeed done a fabulous job!!

This affirmation came to me as I sat on a lawn chair on this spectacular deck in the country. I observed all of these amazing people interacting with one another. Although, not all could attend, five sisters, one brother, their children, and grandchildren; 3 generations of family, ate, drank, shared stories, and sang Dutch songs for hours. How different from one another we all were, and yet, how incredibly very much alike! Some of us are married, some divorced, some widowed, some re-married, ; we are teachers, office administrators, retailers, investors, stay at home moms and dads; a few of my generation are retired or anxiously awaiting this next stage. We are city folk, country folk, and people somewhere in between.

Our relatives depict the global description of a family. We have single moms, gay cousins, ethnic partners, relatives who have battled cancer and won, those who have battled cancer and lost, those who manage diseases; some of us go to church every Sunday, while some pray in the privacy of our homes; we even have a nun who prays for us every day! We love to shop, travel, watch movies, go out for dinner, or stay in for a home cooked meal. We love our food, and we are committed dieters!! Just like most families, we sometimes argue, but we always eventually call a truce.

We don’t see each other often. In fact, some of us haven’t connected for years. We live in different cities and are absorbed and dedicated to our own children and careers. These reunions are affirmations for us that no matter how far away we are from one another, a quick phone call, an email or a face book post would bring us together within minutes or hours. The bonds that tied us together when we were young children are still unspoken, strong and fast; they will never be broken. This is a safe haven for all of us; a place where we are always welcome and can be ourselves. My parents’ extended family was my first home; where it all started for me. I am who I am because of them; each family member gave me a little piece of myself. For that I am grateful.

On August 28, 2010, in Sterling, Ontario, my brother-in-law and sister-in-law brought us all together one more time. Hard work, love and committment, like heart and soul united us for a day.  Yesterday, Peggy and John gave us the gift of family once again.

I sat in the lawn chair with my cousins’ little girl snuggled in my lap, both of us watching the dancing flames. We told each other what we saw in the flames; a dancer, a girl with her tongue sticking out, a dog jumping.......... I looked up at the one star shining brightly in the sky, and I thought of my sister, Emily. She would be smiling right now, I thought; she would be at peace with all before her on this night. This was everything she ever wanted. Once again, affirmation that all was right in my, and my family’s world.