Maternal Warrior

Yesterday, I promised my daughter that we would get to the bottom of her ill health. She has been ill for 6 weeks, since the beginning of December. She feels better some days, but very poorly on others. She sleeps 18 to 20 hours a day, has a continuous sore throat, swollen glands, sore stomach and low grade fever in the evenings. Her appetite is fairly good however she randomly becomes nauseous and vomits. She is very weak and exhausted. It was thought that she had mono, but the blood work came back negative 2 weeks ago. We have been at the hospital several times and to her GP and clinics as well; they feel that it must be a “mono-like” virus that she is fighting. More blood work was done at the hospital yesterday looking again at mono, her thyroid, haemoglobin, electrolytes etc. and we are waiting for the results. Until now, she has been trying to go to school on her “better” days when she feels half decent, and do as much school work at home. However, she has now been instructed to stay home and just rest, so that is what she is doing.

When we arrived at the hospital I felt optimistic that, after so many visits to various doctors and medical facilities, this was going to be the day that someone would tell my daughter what was wrong with her. They would re-assure her and give her a diagnosis and strategy to get well. I was there as her advocate to ensure that she would receive a detailed check up and accurate medical assessment. My maternal warrior was leading the way and nothing was going to stop me.........

The resident had been in and had spent 20 minutes with my daughter. She was a kind and compassionate woman. She asked her detailed questions, joked around with her, examined her physically and took the time to develop a trust in her patient. She then indicated that she needed to discuss her notes with the doctor who would then come in to see us. 15 minutes later, she did just that. She looked at me as she walked by, pointed her finger in my direction and asked, “Are you the mother”? “Yes”, I answered. She ignored me and stood in front of my daughter who sat on the bed. I could immediately read my daughter’s expression; fear and intimidation was written all over her pale, tired face. “You know that you are under weight, don’t you”? These were the first words she directed at my baby girl. Her tone was accusatory and mean. My daughter looked at me, and I sat up and gave her a look that communicated “stand up for yourself”. She turned her head back to the doctor, and said, “I’ve always been thin and I eat a lot”. Good girl, I thought, be brave; my energy was moving across the room to her. “What do you eat in a day”? My daughter took a deep breath in and began to rhyme off the list of breakfast, snack, lunch, and dinner items she might eat in any given day. She has had to do this before, and it has become more of a defensive tactic than anything else. The doctor wheeled around, and, in a voice that resembled a drill sergeant, told me that my daughter should eat more. Bad move. The maternal warrior crept up from the depths of my soul. Defence mode was engaged. I took a deep breath and held on to a firm, yet, diplomatic strategy. I told her that I appreciated the fact that she might be worried that my daughter is under weight, but that she has always been thin, and she does eat well and healthily. I indicated that some people are just naturally thin, and she didn’t need to worry about that, but to instead, focus on my daughter’s symptoms and possible illness. She turned back to her patient and did just that. I let my breath out and sat back in the chair. My daughter smiled.



The “maternal warrior” appears on the day that our first born arrives into the universe. We must NEVER allow anyone to dis-empower this warrior woman because she knows best!! She does not base her reasoning on scientific facts or have any concrete data to defend her stance; her intuition is all that guides her, and no one should stop her. She is the best advocate for her children, and God help anyone who gets in her way!!! When we are in this mode, we should never take on any misplaced guilt as it is our job as mothers to fight for our children’s emotional and physical well being. There have been those who have allowed themselves to be intimidated into squashing their warrior instincts, but they need to know that they MUST stand tall and fight for what they know is true.  They must also teach their daughters to fight for what their intuition tells them is right.  The intuition of the maternal warrior does know best; period.