Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Deal Breakers

We all have deal breakers. Each one of us has a different deal breaker for individual people in our lives. There’s one for our spouse, one for our kids, one for each of our extended family members and one for our friends. Some even have a deal breaker for their pet. Not all of us are aware of own personal deal breakers until we are confronted with the actual deal breaker itself. At that time, it hits us like a ton of bricks because it was so unexpected. Some of us know exactly what our deal breakers are, and implement the consequence immediately without any moment’s hesitation or increment of guilt. And then are those who, knowing deep down that the deal breaker has been executed, ignore it and pretend it never happened. Why is that?


Most likely it is fear. Fear of losing the person who has crossed the line. Fear that confronting the "deal breakee" will escalate into a confrontation and thus, the need to follow through on the consequence. Fear of loss, of rejection, of being alone. But wouldn’t living alone be better than living with “the deal breakee”?

Including a “deal breakee” in your life means that your whole world revolves around that person. S/he is breaking the deal, and you have given away your empowerment. You lose everything and s/he gains more than abundance itself. You know that you have relinquished yourself because you made a choice to allow that person to take control. Control is not empowerment, it is power, and it is one sided. One sided power has no place in any relationship. It creates imbalance and it is up to you to decide whether or not it is a deal breaker.............

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