Embarrassing Moments............to be or not to be........

Have you ever embarrassed someone without realizing it? I recently found out that I have. It’s a strange feeling because I didn’t realize that something I said to someone else in front of this person created an embarrassing moment for her. Our perceptions of what occurred are at completely opposite ends of the spectrum. I believed that she understood my need to defend myself while in an uncomfortable situation, and she clearly felt that my reaction to this person’s behaviour was inappropriate as she recently made a point of stating so.

I’m o.k. with the difference of opinion however, the comment that I embarrassed her, and the fact that this was communicated in front of an entire room full of people, was in itself slightly embarrassing for me. I didn’t react at the time, instead allowing the conversation to dissipate; it was an inappropriate venue for this discussion. She too, allowed it to dissolve as she walked away after making the comment. Although a passive aggressive move, her message was received, and I have used the last 24 hours to think about what her intent was in sending it, or what  either one of us had to gain from her statement. At first, I took it personally, until I realized that it wasn’t really about me, and there was no positive in her approach.

There are people in our lives who we can trust and who we know will have our back no matter what. We trust them to love us unconditionally and to communicate with us with respect and love. If we have a difference of opinion, we discuss the situation in private and with dignity rather than holding it inside and blurting it out in a hurtful manner. As we get older, we gain experience and, thus, more mature behaviour. We learn that relationships, knowing and understanding the people in our lives, and taking the time to do so, are much more important than investing in what strangers may think of us.

Sometimes, sleeping on a comment or a behaviour is the best thing you can do. You realize that your time is better spent being true to yourself rather than worrying and reacting about how others perceive you to be. Let’s face it, if someone doesn’t invest in the energy required to understand you, your energy is equally better spent elsewhere; it’s called being deserving.