Yesterday, my 16 year old daughter achieved a very important award; her driver’s licence. She has been working toward this achievement for 9 months. I am proud of her simply because she is so very proud of herself. Her joy is breathtaking and contagious. I know that the accomplishment itself is not the most important award for her. What is, however, is the fact that she has earned independence and a sense of adulthood. That is her most cherished trophy.
We went out for dinner last night to celebrate her advancement into the world of traffic and speed bumps (our city is full of them), and she couldn’t stop smiling through her spaghetti and meatballs. She was the first to finish her meal, and I’m not sure that she tasted any of it. She had already requested the use of my vehicle for the evening should she pass the 10 minute test (yes, only 10 minutes), and I had agreed under the condition that she knew and agreed to all the rules her father and I had communicated to her in regards driving without one of us. She was off to visit her boyfriend and then to a basketball game with her girlfriend. At the time, I felt very confident that she was an excellent and responsible driver. I didn’t hesitate as I was feeding off of her excitement and positive energy.
That was last night. Now it is tonight, and she has taken the car to work; dark, black ice and no mother to guide her........ I have let my mind wander and have allowed every horrible vision of terrifying scenarios that could possibly happen to my little girl swirl around in my head. I am desperately trying to push them aside knowing that I need to allow her to grow up and experience her independence and prove her competence; I need to have faith in her and the universe. This is her rite of passage; something she has earned and deserves. Why do I have that creepy feeling in my stomach; the one that I tell people is the “icky feeling”, or your intuition? Is it intuition or is it just a mother’s over protective side gone out of control?
I need to believe that I am over reacting, and that everything will be alright or I will never make it through the winter!!!!! Thank goodness I have my blog to write down my thoughts and work through this state of anguish. Suddenly, it all sounds quite simple now. This is not something I can control. My youngest bird has just flown from the nest................I bid you adieu.. .....fly with confidence and grace little one!
Oh ya, and please don’t go too fast over those speed bumps, they’ll take the bottom out of the Subaru!!!!!!
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