Choosing and Allowing

For as much effort that I put forth in maintaining a balanced and calm existence, from time to time a bit of chaos and unwanted dysfunction still manages to creep in. When it happens I take note and reflect on why it  presents itself when I so abhor its existence. At first, I think it’s bound to happen; life is not perfect and I cannot control everything. Then, I re-evaluate the circumstances and realize that most of these situations were avoidable and could have been managed more positively and, thus, effectively.

It goes back to the “allowing” part of our being. Think about a time when you were in a place or part of a conversation that became toxic. You felt like there was no way out and, frustration mounted to a point when crying became inevitable. You wonder how you got there and why you are still standing there. You feel like you need to defend yourself, and yet, you know that no defence in the world will help you because you are stuck. You are out of your comfort level.

Most likely you brought yourself to this place and freely engaged in the conversation. You probably would have liked to be anywhere else but “there” and, you may have begun the dialogue yourself or, freely responded to the person who initiated it. You may have brought yourself to a situation that does not reflect your opinions, and presents opposing beliefs from yours. These were all choices that you made without anyone holding a gun to your head. This is the part where you made the decision to “allow” a place or a person into your life who is not conducive to your true values. Your authentic self cannot healthily exist in this environment because it does not hold the same belief system that you do.

This is called avoidable and unnecessary personal grief. It is usually triggered by the need for money, a career or, it is simply ego based. The latter is often more prevalent as we “allow” our egos to control what we do and say, rather than follow our intuition and “disallow” ourselves to go places or seek people that don’t fit our authenticity. It is a pattern that can determine our path in life. The struggle to choose between ego and authenticity can become a difficult fight if we are unwilling to listen to our hearts.

And so, on this day when I did “allow” my being to go to a place of unrest and confrontation, I reflect on my responsibility with making myself present in this situation. With all good intensions I put myself out there to try to resolve a problem that I thought could be made better. I knew that my efforts would be unnoticed and even challanged, and yet, I still went there, to that ominous place of feeling de-valued. My choice and my lessoned learned as I promise myself never to go there again. We'll see.................

Sending You Love Roses

xoxoxoxo