Thoughts and Reality

I have a renewed sense that all is well again in the world. After sitting with a friend last night for a while discussing all the negative energy that evolved around my family last week, it occurred to me that I was not following my own advice. When I go into the high schools and chat with the girls, I work very hard at enabling them to understand that what someone thinks about you is simply a “thought” and not necessarily real.

When I think back on the details of what had occurred, I realize that the stress I was feeling was coming directly from my reaction to the perception of other people toward my actions. Everyone close to me, including myself, kept telling me that I had good intensions, so there was nothing to be upset about. This is exactly what I discuss with the young girls who still struggle with maintaining a “cool” look or behaviour, rather than just being themselves; whatever that may be. I was doing the same thing that they do; I was reacting to what others thought about me rather than focusing on my good intentions at the time. There are those who are very angry with me and at what I had done, and that was slanting my judgement on the entire experience. I couldn’t get past it and I wanted desperately to “fix” it.

But how do you fix someone’s paradigm; especially when they are hurt and offended. You really can’t. It is ultimately up to them to take the next step and try to put themselves in your shoes, rather than try to find someone to blame. Anger is the defence mechanism that is created when we are fearful, and it always fails us. It provides moments of comfort and then it deceives by exhausting our souls. It is reactive and often mimics what we think we are upset about. Placing fault does not always erase bad memories. It simply provides retribution, but at what cost?

It is our integrity that becomes in jeopardy when we want someone to pay for their actions. We make choices that harm ourselves and others, and no one feels any better in the end. Retaliation is fleeting, exhausting and unfulfilling. And so, rather than continue to complicate something so very simple, I am letting go of this “incident” and chalking it up to something wrong that happened, but with all the right reasons.