Yesterday was a bad day for many people. I don’t like saying those words because the message is such a negative one. I always tell people to find the positive in everything that happens but, I struggle to figure this one out. I did something that came from the depth of my heart and soul with the intention of goodness. As I tell people all the time, “how can you go wrong with that?” Well, you can. Without realizing what I had done at the time, I hurt people. My usual response to that would be, “if your intentions were good, you should not feel bad.” That may seem logical, but it’s just not always that simple is it?
I know logistically what went wrong yesterday as the sequence of events are now all coming together. Interpretation of communication presented a different picture from reality and the resulting reactions were harmful. Although unintended, they inflicted pain on people who did not deserve such grief, especially at this time.
I review the events over and over in my thoughts and wonder when and at what point could the negative outcome have been avoided. Who was to blame? Everyone involved moved forward with concern and love, and yet we stumbled. We all dared to do the right thing, and yet we fell. We tried to correct it, and yet we lay there unable to replace the steps we had taken.
I am grateful that my conscious has reacted with such instinctual regret as it reiterates that I have an abundance of goodness in me. I understand the reaction of those hurt, and the pain they are experiencing which is why I am having a difficult time getting past this. I realize now that there is no explanation for what happened, and maybe, because our intensions were good, it could not have been avoided. Perhaps when people are trying to do the right thing, there is no blame to be made when events move in the wrong direction. Yet, our human side, our caring intuitive side, our nurturing self directs us to request forgiveness so that we can all move positively and lovingly forward and back to where we once were.
Without knowing what went wrong for you, your words resonated with me. Been there, done that.
ReplyDeleteReading your words brought back an experience that blind-sided me completely, because - like you - my intentions were pure.
I understanded the re-hashing and re-working; the "what ifs" and self blame.
I am sure that whatever and whoever is involved has already forgiven and moved on, knowing that your intentions were indeed good.
Forgiving ourselves is usually the hardest part.