Recovering a Sense of Safety

A year ago, I had a vision, and it actualized in my “Deserving Space” this week. An extremely fulfilling experience, as my first group of women walked through the door and began their journey of authenticity and creativity. We spoke of being respectful of one another and using compassion while listening to each other’s sharing of thoughts and experiences. The energy in the room felt inviting and safe. The topic of conversation was “Recovering a Sense of Safety”, appropriate given the fact that 5 people were bringing their very private lives to people they had never met and an unknown environment.

The first step to being able to move toward living our true selves is feeling safe enough to walk into the fear of starting the work. This requires a strong support system in our lives, and may seem easy as you think of all the people you know and love. However, if you are moving through an authentic transition, the people in your life may not understand the changes you are experiencing. Your behaviour and talk will shift and, what they see and hear may be misunderstood. Suddenly, a space appears in your relationship and, neither one of you knows how to respond to the other. Your paradigms are most likely much different from theirs.

Keeping in mind that the other person, not you, is probably more in the dark than you are, communicating what you are feeling and thinking is the key to maintaining their support and their friendship. We must understand that our loved ones have known us for most of our lives, and they know us as we were. We need to ensure them that we are still the same person, but that we are moving through some inner work and introspection. We need to ask them for understanding and patience.

They may not understand completely, or you may be surprised to find out that they have already moved through their journey of authenticity, or that they are interested in becoming more aware themselves. You may encounter one or two members of your support team who create distance in your relationship. This is not a true reflection of how they feel about you as their behaviour is most likely based on fear; their own fear of seeking their true path of living. Giving them space and time is an act of kindness as you allow them to digest the changes in you.

Compassion for them and compassion for you will provide you with the ease and grace that you need to gently make choices that reflect your own values. Give those in your life the time to adjust as you do the same, and seek those who are of like mind and soul. Whether you are ready to start your journey of truth, are actively moving through it, or have already arrived there, surround yourself with like minded beings as you find comfort in their understanding and love. Remember to make new friends and embrace their kindness as did the “Deserving Women” when they faced their fears this week and welcomed a new support system into their lives.
xoxo