To be grumpy or not to be grumpy? That is the question. Do we really have the right to inflict our grumpiness onto others? Or, should we be able to contain our nasty side and fake it for 24 hours, knowing that tomorrow will be a better day. Have you ever woken up feeling not quite yourself, but you were willing to perservere so as not to inflict your personal discontent on those around you. As you look in the mirror, you splash some water on your face and you tell yourself, "come on, they don't deserve to listen to me grumble". You put on your "happy" morning face and walk out to the kitchen. But they know something is off because it is difficult to camoflage such inner suffering. And so they wonder, "did I do something wrong?", " is she not feeling well?", "did she not sleep well?" They contemplate what to do because chances are any one of these scenarios could be the trigger for her discontent. Knowing what kind of a person you are, should they just accept that you are having a bad day and leave you alone? Obviously, they know you well enough that they have figured out that something is bothering you because this is not your usual self. Or, without any kind of explanation to defend your demeanor, have you set yourself up for critisism? Do you deserve that, or can this just be a day of no personal or outside expectations?
Perhaps it would be better to just walk out into the kitchen and tell everyone, "I am grumpy today; I don't want to tell you why; please don't bother me; don't talk to me, don't ask me for anything or ask me to do anything, and, definitely, don't try to make me feel better because that will piss me off even more." There!! It would be out and everyone would know how you are feeling. Hopefully and respectfully, they would accept this mood that you are in and leave you alone. Or, would they? Should they? Do they deserve an explanation?
Both of these scenarios allows you to just be who you are feeling that day under one condition; those surrounding you react accordingly and with love, without requesting defence or justification. When others react negatively to your grumpiness, it only provokes more of the same and could domino into anger.
In the end, it is you who needs to govern this situation. It is you who decides whether your family and friends can handle a serving of your grumpy state; whether they should endure such unintensional abuse; and whether you are willing to take the time re-program them to allow you to be grumpy without any type or amount of judgement. And finally, do you dare to do the same for them?
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