"How do you get off this treadmill?" I was recently asked. The short and simple answer is to just love your self enough to just get off of it. To love yourself enough to do what you need to do to balance your life. "But, what does that mean, and where do I start?" "There's so much to do; I don’t have time to think about that." Ah, but is there really so much to do? Is there really no time? We have created this overwhelming life style, and we're caught up in the daily "to do" lists and what everyone else is doing. "Keeping up with the Jones'" has never been more prevalent than now; it has been taken to the highest level. We are so absorbed in what we need to buy, what we need to have and what our children need to have and do that we have lost sight of what our purpose really is.
What your purpose is for you to discover on your own. The process, however, starts with reflecting on what you crave (not food and not anything tangible) and are lacking in your life; is it love, friendship, rest, peace, creativity, good health, balance, belonging, self confidence, self worth, respect, or something else. Yes, this is a huge question to ask yourself, and the answer will not come to you quickly. You will most likely need to look back on a time when you did not feel like you had lost a piece of yourself. It was probably a long time ago.............. What made you happy then? If you truly love yourself, you will be able to do what you need to do to be accountable to yourself to find out what you really want and need.
If you really love yourself, you will find ways to simplify your life to provide you with the time you need to do the self research. Love yourself enough to ask for help. Your children can do their laundry, make dinner on certain nights, help to clean the house and do the outside chores (you're laughing right now, but they really can do it, and its not abuse to make them do it). If they don’t have time, perhaps their lives are out of balance as well; be careful because they will lose sight of what is important and what really makes them happy as well. Don’t be afraid to ask your husband to help you as well (yes, they do need to be asked ~ even though it is annoying, it is true). Keep in mind that this endeavour may rock the world of those around you. Do not be afraid to communicate how you are feeling. They may not understand, but they will know that this is not about them; it is about you, and it is important to you. They will adjust, just as you have all these years, because they love you. If they don’t, well, you have some more thinking to do, and that's another blog post!
Eventually, you will not place blame on the world or people around you for your lack of fulfillment because you will be accountable for your own happiness and purpose, as you should. It is no one else’s responsibility to ensure your happiness, but your own. This is not selfish. Everyone deserves the right to be emotionally and physically healthy and happy. I dare you to think about what would truly make you whole and, better yet, do what you need to do to make it happen.
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