Electronic messages are tricky things. Whether you are writing them or reading them, one must be ever so careful in their wording, but even more so, in the tone that could be interpreted on the receiving end. This is even more prevalent in a group message scenario as there are so many variables that influence how a message is perceived that we must take them all into account. Each person opening the email has her own personality loaded with the good, the bad and the ugly. Any given day could trigger one or all of these wonders, and it is sometimes not very pretty! Given the dynamics of the group, whether the members are co-workers, friends or acquaintances, the communication could come across completely different from what was intended.
I was in this situation today as I opened my inbox to 49 emails after not having my computer for a few days. Trying to get ready for a trip this coming week and keeping up to date on my work and in touch with my family and friends, I found myself overwhelmed with the number of messages before me. I took a deep breath and started replying to them one by one.
There were a couple of emails in particular that were sent from members of a group that I found time consuming, and I was somehow annoyed by them. I had a knee jerk reaction, wrote a reply that I thought was appropriate given how my interpretation made me feel, hesitated momentarily before I hit the “send” button, and then regretted it. It wasn’t long before I received a reply and I was promptly put in my place. I had clearly annoyed someone as much as I had been.
I took an hour to sit back and reflect on what had happened. I had that “icky” feeling in my stomach, and I wondered if it was because someone had put me in my place, or because I realized that I had misinterpreted the previous emails and had made a mistake. I re-read all of the emails, and it turns out it was all of the above. Now I had a decision to make. I could pretend that I was “right” and act like nothing had happened, or I could take the high road and admit my error.
I decided to allow my integrity to guide me as I wrote yet one more email expressing my apologies to all involved. If I have learned anything at all during my journey to self love, it is that I must like all of the little bits that create me as a whole person. That includes the kind me and the fun me, the loving me and the caring me, but it also includes that little piece of me that makes mistakes from time to time. It is a gentle reminder that we are not perfect and that our imperfections help to create the balance of self that promote gratitude for all that we are. It enables us to forgive ourselves for our not so pretty parts, even there are those who won't.
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