A friend of mine said to me, “I don’t feel like proving myself any more”. I understood. We come to a time in our lives when we are tired of the constant cycle of working toward seeking approval, adapting to what is necessary to obtain approval, and then starting all over again. We suddenly realize that shifting our behaviour to fit what someone else is looking for, only provides us with blocks that prohibit us from taking our natural course. For every positive in our life, our sub conscious retaliates with a negative, and we remain stagnate and unable to grow. The fear of leaving what is familiar, even if it provides unhappiness, keeps us from all we know that will make us happy.
Making the conscious choice to only allow positive affirmations in is a huge step toward achieving what we really want. For years, I had excuses as to why I could not write; no time, no money, people would think I was crazy, what if I wasn’t really good, my family wouldn’t support me, my husband would tell me it wasn’t realistic, and so on. Now I realize that all of these negative affirmations were defensive thoughts that kept me away from my dream of becoming a writer. I felt that I needed to focus on them to keep me from the failure that I was sure I would reach. After much work, I established that each thought came from a place, a person and a time in my past.
Breaking down my life in 2 to 5 year increments was the best way for me to figure out where these negative statements came from. Pinpointing who was the most influential person in my life at that time, or what significant event occurred during those years, or where I was at that time made it much easier to make the correct association to my negative feelings. I was not concerned with associating fault or blame in relation to my blocks, but I needed to understand their origins in order to be able to deflect them and allow positive energy in. Once I did that, I was able to determine how ludicrous it was that I was allowing other people’s opinions, and events to influence my decisions. Their belief system was after all only that, a system of beliefs. They weren’t necessarily truths or facts, just what they believed. If that were the case, then there was no reason why my beliefs could not prevail over theirs.
Seems simple, and yet it is not. The chatter that comes from the back of our head is composed of the beliefs of the parents who raised us, the friends we socialized with, the culture we lived in, the church we prayed in and the teachers who taught us. Our brain has been conditioned to believe all that we are familiar with even if our soul believes the complete opposite. The struggle is enormous, and the fear to fight what we have been told from birth in order to live authentically can be so strong that we surrender to it and live in stagnancy.
It is time to work through these blocks, believe in our hearts and move toward the happiness we all deserve. Going against the grain to do what makes us happy is the right thing to do. Doing it by trusting ourselves is the only way to achieve it. Believing in ourselves will get us there much faster than we expect. There is no one to live up to and no one to prove ourselves to. We just “do”, and we just “be”.
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