Opening Doors

I have become fascinated by the various responses presented by the mere act of opening a door. It could be me opening the door for someone else, or it could be someone opening the door for me. Either way, there are a number of reactions from both sides that are incredibly interesting.

I have what my children define as “old school” manners. When someone older than me approaches a door and I am standing close by or in front of them, I automatically open the door and gesture for them to go through while I hold it for them. It doesn’t matter if the elderly person is male or female; this is what I have been taught is the proper thing to do. It feels right. It can also feel great because the response is sometimes that of pleasant surprise. Sometimes the recipient of the door opening gesture can’t believe that it is happening. Because I have taught my children to do the same as an act of kindness and respect, they have also received the surprised, yet pleased, response. The measure of surprise is sometimes elevated when they open the door for someone because it doesn’t seem to be the norm for someone their age to think of such a thing.

Sometimes I open the door for someone within my own peer group. This is interesting because it is completely unexpected. I always receive an enthusiastic “thank you” if it is a woman. If it is a man that I choose to open the door for, he usually becomes hesitant to move through the door ahead of me and insists that I go before him. Chivalry is not dead.

I love it when a gentleman opens the door for me. I’m not always sure if he does it because he wants to, or because he feels he should, but it feels nice. Older men seem to be more comfortable and natural holding the door open for women, while some younger men send the vibe of an “expected” act. When a teenager or younger person opens the door for me, I am thankful that there is hope for their generation. Not because I think they are all rude or self centred, but because I think that some of them are possibly heading in that direction, and it saddens me. I wonder if they will ever experience the feeling of opening the door for someone, and the gratitude of a smile that comes with it. I have experienced times when I was heading toward a door and someone came barrelling from behind or beside me to get to the door. They were not rushing to open it for me, but rather, to get to and through it before me. 9 times out of 10 it was a teenager. I don’t think they do it maliciously or with ill intent. I don’t even think they are thinking about what they are doing, other than that they need to get through the door. And therein lies the dilema...........

Perhaps we can all make a difference by teaching our children to stop and open the door for someone. From this small gesture, and the fabulous energy that will come back to them, maybe other acts of kindness will emerge. It could all start with a simple pulling of a handle, a nod of a head and a smile.