Ah, resolution time! The first day of the New Year is racked with the age old tradition of committing to an activity that will create a much "better" you. I read the morning paper and turned the T.V. on only to read and hear about the compulsive obsession of this phenomenon.
I think about all the things that I could change about myself, and the list contains a multitude of items that would, apparently, make me this better person. Instead I choose to maintain and build on a path that I took years ago. It is more of a philosophy than a tangible, visible shift, and it carries beauty in its simplicity.
It is all that is kind; kindness in its truest form. Kindness far beyond holding a door open for a stranger or sending flowers to an ailing friend. It is the kindness that begins with you, and over time, eventually, transfers on to others. It is a simple concept and yet, difficult to initiate as it requires a thought process so different from the socialized norm of directing kindness only to others that it initially instigates feeling of guilt and selfishness. Your first endeavour towards self-kindness creates alienation from traditional love as your focus is on only you. It requires loving everything about you, especially that which inhabits your soul.
A reminder, that being kind to yourself does not require the tunnel vision of only fulfilling your own needs. It is not a justification of self centred behaviour, but instead is the first step toward loving others fully and sincerely. In order to experience genuine giving, you must be able to provide yourself with the same respect, and feel 100% deserving of such expressions of love. You cannot authentically provide the gift of compassion if you do not believe you are worthy to receive the same.
The phrase “love yourself” is thrown around and used haphazardly in an attempt to justify treating ourselves to “things”. This phrase does not refer to looking in the mirror and convincing yourself that you love what you see. It is not about how you look in your newest outfit, the way your hair falls just right or how well your house is put together. It does not involve someone else’s perception of you or their acceptance of your physical appearance or possessions.
Loving yourself does not just happen by repeating it to yourself 50 times. Loving yourself involves accepting how you feel, think and act. It is about accepting who you were when you entered this universe and going back to the untouched, uninfluenced "loved just the way you were" child. Loving yourself is about not allowing others opinions or perceptions of you alter your true character. Loving yourself is about realizing that what others think of you, good or bad, is a perception or a thought and is not reality unless you agree with it. Loving yourself is about recognizing that what you think of yourself is real as long as you are following your heart and are being truthful with yourself.
Once you have achieved loving yourself (your real authentic self), you will treat yourself with respect and kindness. You will start to genuinely love others; really love others. You will not judge yourself or others for what they wear, how they act, what they say, or question why they are the way they are. Your perceptions will change and you will become a more peaceful, accepting and balanced individual. Nothing else will matter and all will fall into place.
It all begins with one simple resolution; loving yourself.
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