Aging Gracefully

I am an advocate for women so, when I hear people remark how much a female acquaintance of theirs has “aged” or has “let herself go” I feel the hairs on the back of my head tingle with annoyance. We often make comments about other’s appearance due to the pressure that surrounds us for aesthetic perfection. I, for one, will admit to succumbing to skin treatments, hair colouring and many dollars spent on makeup and skin products. I also do my best to eat well and exercise when I am able and have the time in order to maintain the best body and health that I possibly can. However, this is not always an easy feat to accomplish for any of us.

Physical restrictions, time limitations, and our nurturing selves de-prioritize the focus of our health to other avenues. Our bodies do not always want to accommodate what our minds would like us to accomplish. Our jobs restrict the amount of time we have available in order to prepare a healthy meal or spend any time at the gym. Our families are a huge magnet for our attention, and our guilt quickly moves them to the forefront of our own needs or desires.

I have learned to de-program myself from seeing an individual’s physical self before their true self on the inside. Of course, I am attracted to physical beauty for that is something that is instinctual in all beings. However, I now place much more value on someone’s character than I ever have before. As a result, I find people much more interesting and, I find I am much more interested in people. I seem to go out of my way to meet and learn about strangers I meet in line ups or in other social settings.

Now, let’s go back to the ladies who are receiving the criticism because they don’t happen to be aging gracefully. I can guarantee that these women are working more than full time, are raising a family, and have taken on way too much in regards to maintaining a home and organizing their children’s activities and all that goes along with that. They have adapted the mindset that this is the norm, and so if they don’t adhere to societal peer pressure, they are not “good” mothers. They sacrifice their own physical and emotional health to provide a ridiculous standard of “stuff” to their children.

So, when I see a mother in a coffee shop, sitting down with a cup of coffee, gently rocking a stroller in hopes of receiving 15 minutes of peace and nothingness, I applaud her choice to sit and relax and decompress. This is a smart woman, for these few moments of calm is her way of showing compassion to her mind and body. She is not obsessed with the extra 10 pounds she may be carrying or the need to redecorate the 3000 square foot home she really doesn’t need. She hasn’t had time to put makeup on and she doesn’t care. She is wearing the clothes that she found on the chair from the night before. Those few minutes of solitude and nothingness are far more important to her than her need to hide her fine lines or show off the latest fashion trend.

The baby falls asleep and mom pulls out a book in hopes of reading a chapter.