Loss and its Message

I spent some extra time this morning on my “blogging” ritual as I was intrigued by a post by Claudette Copeland at www.a-bird-in-the-hand.blogspot.com It is a very snowy day here today, and when I woke up and pulled the curtains open, the vision screamed, “sitting at my little corner desk to write”!!!

My day always starts with a coffee, breakfast and the morning paper. From there I wait until everyone is out of the house and I then retreat to my computer for my blogging session and subsequent writing. I usually have my writing topic already in place by the time I sit down in front of the blank Microsoft Word screen, but today my mind was equally blank. And then I clicked onto Claudette’s post for today. She writes of the loss of a friend and the regret that no one noticed or acted upon the signs, for there are always those signs that become ever so clear once our dear ones are gone. Seeing her thoughts on the page quickly brought me back to a November evening 16 years ago.

It was just after dinner and, I was starting to walk up the stairs with my 8 month old daughter in my arms when the phone rang. My husband answered, and his tone wreaked o f sadness, of something bleak, and I knew. I knew, but I needed to hear it. I couldn’t make out what he was saying as he walked away from me toward the back of the house. I descended the stairs and walked toward him just as he was returning to the hall where I was. He told me she was gone, and my heart sank. He took the baby and I walked into the living room and sat down. I was not shocked by the news, but the sadness was overwhelming. The guilt moved through me with such force that I was unable to handle its powerful grasp. The signs had been there for a long time but, it had never been discussed.

Since then, I have learned that from such sad destinies we can only take and absorb the important messages. We cannot save everyone from the sadness that they absorb, but we can certainly make choices to listen and act upon our, ever so refined, intuitiveness. Being afraid or too busy to step forward is a symptom of a very inhumane society. To feel guilt or remorse for a minute or two is effective if we then manifest those emotions into what is kind and loving. A listening ear and small amount of time makes all the difference.

I know this because my friend was this person. She was a kind and giving individual who thought of others instead of herself perhaps too much. She often spoke of guilt as a waste of time, and encouraged everyone she met to “seize the day”. She always lived as though the end was near. Her voice was loud and clear, and yet we chose not to hear it. I am sure that Claudette’s neighbour sent out many signs that were read yet, pushed aside. I am also sure that her death will change the way anyone who knew her will react to such messages in the future. This is how we evolve and grow. This was her final message. Listen to it and move forward.